| January 2009 - Society |
| January 2009 |
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Breaking the Bonds That Bind Words Anna Jozwik
Maher, 30, talks matter-of-factly when explaining the breakdown of his marriage. “I was only 22 when I got married,” he said. “I had just completed my military service. My family didn’t want me to marry, but I disobeyed them and got married anyway. Unfortunately, my wife’s parents always interfered in our affairs. Eventually I took my wife and two young sons to Dubai where I could make more money. After a while, I returned to Syria to raise my sons here but my wife had already tasted luxury. I couldn’t give her that here and she divorced me to marry a man in the UAE.” For Fatima, 28, divorcing her husband was the only choice left after months of physical and emotional abuse. “My husband would hit me on a regular basis,” she said. “At first I stayed because of my children. I didn’t want them to face the stigma of growing up without a father. However, I got tired of my husband’s drunken abuse and adultery. He neglected me and our children. When I was in the hospital giving birth to his son, my husband refused to visit and pay the medical fees.” On the rise
Sociologists and statisticians agree, however, such a rate is not very revealing: the data compares two very different populations as most of the divorces granted were for marriages that occurred in a previous year. A more accurate comparison is the number of divorces per 1,000 people, a figure put at 0.65 by the www.nationmaster.com site which compiles country statistics from sources including the United Nations and World Bank. According to these figures, Syria’s divorce rate is the 21st highest in the world, above Cyprus (26), Turkey (30) and Italy (32). Official statistics are also certain to underreport divorce in Syria as a Muslim man can divorce his wife by telling her she is divorced three times. The divorce comes into effect after a period of three months, during which the man may reinstate the marriage at any time. Exact figures for divorce may be non-existent in Syria, but there is much anecdotal evidence to suggest the country’s divorce rate is on the rise, mirroring a similar trend throughout the Arab world. Last year, Egyptian authorities reported that more than 30 percent of new marriages now end in divorce, while Jordan’s divorce rate has steadily increased over the past five years. In a symposium held late last year in Kuwait, a study put the rate of divorce in the UAE at 46 percent, making it among the world’s highest. In a country known for fiercely protecting family values, the present number of divorces in Syria even surprises local law practitioners. “When I first started practising law 10 years ago, I wasn’t even aware that we had a divorce court in the Syrian Christian community as divorce cases were almost unheard of,” Riknie Schehade, a Damascus-based attorney, said. An evolving social sphere Numbers aside, what’s not in debate is that divorce is becoming more socially acceptable in Syria and throughout the Middle East, in line with greater women’s empowerment, migration and financial independence. Daad Mousa, a Damascus-based attorney and women’s rights activist, said contemporary Syrian women are more inclined to ask for divorce because they are more aware of their legal rights and have greater resources to escape an unhappy marriage. “Now women are more empowered through education,” Mousa said. “They speak up more and refuse to silently accept mistreatment. A woman who has a job might go back to her family after a divorce, but she’ll be able to support herself.” Greater access to the outside world, along with an increasing movement and mix of people, are also working to create a society more tolerant of divorce, particularly for women. “In the past divorce was shameful, a scandal,” Mousa said. “Now there is more divorce and people are becoming more accepting of it, they are becoming more used to it. The nature of society has changed. People are starting to care less about society’s view. Globalisation has brought with it different values which have changed the view of marriage and family.” Stigmas remain
The lucky ones, like Fatima, can support themselves financially and are allowed to move back to their parents’ house with their children. Other women are left all but destitute and can become potential targets of violence. Some families refuse to allow their divorced daughters to come home with their children. The fear of losing their children and home sees many women stay in abusive and unhappy marriages. “Although people are getting used to the idea of divorce, the majority still doesn’t accept it,” Schehade said. “Many parents prefer that a daughter die in her husband’s house than return home. They are worried about their family’s reputation, especially if they have other daughters. “A divorced woman will be very unlikely to remarry, especially if she’s Christian, and if she does she’ll be isolated and socially unwelcome.” Support services needed Recognising the need for support, the government, along with civic and religious groups, are taking baby steps to support women following divorce. In 2004, the Society for Developing the Role of Women in Syria was established to spread awareness of women’s issues and provide rehabilitation for abused women, including divorcees. In June last year, the organisation opened a women’s shelter and will soon provide legal and psychological counselling, as well as job skills training and work placements to encourage female economic independence. The Sisters of the Good Shepherd Convent in Damascus also provides free counselling and shelter and receives about 40 enquiries a month, 80 to 90 percent of which are about divorce and child custody.
Many activists also point to the country’s Personal Status Law, saying it should be changed to allow women the right to retain the family home and receive higher alimony. Legal fees should also be lowered to alleviate the financial burden of divorce which often serves as a deterrent, Mousa said. “People should understand that divorce happens for a reason and should not stigmatise the woman for it,” she said. |
1 February 2012
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Compiling an accurate picture of divorce in Syria is no easy task. Official government data shows the number of divorce certificates granted rose by 57 percent between 1999 and 2007, from 12,453 to 19,506. At the same time, however, the number of marriage contracts issued has increased by around 75 percent, from 136,157 to 237,592. All of which shows the rate, when simply calculated by dividing new marriage contacts with new divorce contracts for any year, to have stayed stable at around 9 percent.
While the driving forces behind divorce in Syria are frequently universal, the consequences for annulling a marriage can still carry a heavy burden. Divorce carries with it a social stigma, particularly for women, and the legal process can be expensive, slow and emotionally draining.
These efforts, while admirable, fall short and greater social reforms are needed. Mousa, who provides free legal services at the Sisters of the Good Shepherd, said there is a huge need for more legal advisors. “We need hundreds of women’s NGOs [Non- Governmental Organisations] around Syria,” she said. “We should have at least two or three NGOs, helplines and shelters in each city in Syria. We need to provide women with a place to evaluate their circumstances in safety.”
